How We Live Now
by ladyharlequin101
Summary: Two years after the events at Raccoon City, the STARS members try to piece their lives back together, even with a suspicious shadow forever lurking behind them. CJ, LC pairing.
1. Prologue

Authors Notes: Hi dudes. I know I haven't finished What was Lost yet (it just drags on and on…) but I kinda got slightly bored with writing in first person and therefore decided to write one in third, just for a change. Please read and review…

-Dd-

The air felt hot and heavy as Jill stretched out on the desk, silently willing the fan to miraculously start working again. The day was unusually stifling, even for the middle of July, and Jill felt herself loosening the first few buttons of her shirt so air could get to her over-heated skin. _Must be the start of a heat wave, _she thought, fanning herself with her hand while looking wistfully out of the window.

Jill hated the weather to be like this; it reminded her of the summer of 1998, the very July that started the whole chain of events leading to the ultimate destruction of Racoon City. A demise that she saw with her own eyes. She shuddered at the thought, pushing the grim memories aside. It had been just over two years since that summer, just over two years since she first saw a zombie; just over two years since her life had been changed forever. A lot had changed since then, most of it for the better. _Most…_

After witnessing the city's destruction, Jill had set out to find Chris, and the rest of the remaining S.T.A.R.S, to finally bring umbrella down for good, to right the wrong of the thousands of people killed when the virus spread through the city, like a plague infecting without mercy. _A plague, _she mused attention turning to the picture outside,_ is what it is._

The virus had killed so many people, innocent people, her friends, and the corporation deserved to pay for their actions; would pay for their actions. It was just a matter of timing…

The important thing was that they didn't kill everyone…

Smirking, Jill looked to the window, casting dark thoughts towards her friends. They were so different form two years ago, had changed so much.

_Guess that's expected…_

The STARS had disbanded after the incident, drifting away from each other, held apart by the chaotic events of Racoon City's destruction, and the inevitable media aftermath, although a quick re-union was ensured when Barry picked her up mere minutes before the bomb blew Racoon to dust. It was indescribable the feeling she got when she saw Barry sitting there, re-assuring her that her team-mates were still alive and still out there, and more importantly still fighting.

_Never forget the expression on his face when he saw me alive and more than kicking and when his eyes travelled to the Umbrella logo on Carlos' shirt… _

Carlos…

Thoughts suddenly became a whole lot more complicated when he was mentioned. Well, actually not exactly him, but everyone around him. The STARS didn't like him: fact. They saw him as a threat to their close knit community, an outsider, an agent of umbrella, even though he had saved Jill's life more than once and was anything but a threat to anyone.

Anyone but Chris, he's an even bigger complication to matters… 

Chris hated Carlos, purely for the reason that Carlos had been there to help Jill when he was not. Had been close to her, had taken care of her. A responsibility, Jill assumed, that Chris liked to take care of himself. Had to take care of himself. To put it simply, he was jealous.

Who can blame him? After all Carlos does have that whole tall dark and handsome thing going for him…

Jill laughed, a dry humourless laugh that made the back of her throat itch. _Well, it's true, _she told herself trying to picture him standing in front of her now, to no avail. To her, Carlos was no more than a friend, a kid brother, someone to make jokes and pull pranks when she was feeling low. She could never _be _with him. To be truthful she never wanted to be with him.

If you're completely truthful, you know it's always been Chris.

Chris…

Things between them hadn't changed. In two years they'd been through so much, but never admitted their feelings for each other. _At least I admit that there are feelings, at least that's a start…_

While Leon and Claire had acted on their feelings and were now preparing for a late summer wedding, Jill and Chris were still on square one of a circle that always ended up back at the start. _Well, maybe not square one…_

A smile played across Jill's face as she remembered everything from the past two years, re-living all the moments when she'd ever been close to Chris, close enough to touch him, to feel his breath on her neck. _Not that there've been many of those occasions._

It was true, Jill mused, that her and Chris _had _grown closer, but only as friends, only ever as friends. It was sad that they couldn't just go that extra mile.

Sliding off the desk, Jill stretched her arms, re-buttoning the top few buttons on her shirt as she heard heavy footsteps approaching from outside. She sighed, exasperated by the whole situation, and partly dreading what was to come of this meeting.

_Shame Chris is here now, I'd love to see the expression on his face…_

Chapter notes: hey, sorry that there wasn't any dialogue in that chapter, but I just wanted to set the events up for the rest of the story. Hope this was an ok first chapter, and as always, read and review…

-Dd-


	2. The Shooting Range

Author's notes: Back again, and here to hopefully expand upon the kind of 'prologue' that my first chapter was, and as for chapter length, this one will (hopefully) be longer, cause the first chapter was only an introduction. Thanx, and keep reviewin'

-Dd-

The bullet ripped through the target dead centre, passing through the flimsy cardboard circle to lodge itself deeply within the thick wooden block beyond. Chris smirked, silently congratulating himself as he lowered his gun, re-adjusting his protective muffs as the target automatically reset, replaced by a fresh circle free of bullet holes.

_Well, that'll soon change…_

Grinning at the notion, Chris pulled the spent cartridge from his custom target handgun, before replacing it with a fresh one. Chris had always been an excellent shot, even through the events at the Spencer Mansion, where that extra degree of accuracy had most likely saved his life. The memory of that night, over two years ago, still haunted every waking moment, like a shadow hanging over him, stunting the beauty of everything he touched.

When he closed his eyes even for a second he could smell that unmistakable stench of rotting, decaying flesh, mixed with the tang of freshly spilled blood, dirt trapped under his fingernails as a shaking hand reached for the next door handle, dreading what was on the other side…

That was in the past. Ancient history to be buried and forgotten. _Like the bodies of my friends, buried and forgotten…_

Thoughts turning darker, Chris pulled the trigger with a little more malice than was intended, the bullet straying inches from the centre point, once-perfect aim off.

Joseph, Brad, Forest, Enrico, even Claire's friend Steve. All because of Umbrella… 

There hadn't been a funeral for any of the deceased STARS members, with events happening so quickly that people didn't give much thought to the bodies of those who had been claimed by the corporation, many of them lying in the places that they had been brutally cut down in. _Brutality, a key word when it comes to Umbrella…_

_Umbrella…_

Umbrella _was _history. After Racoon City, Umbrella's credibility plummeted, with shareholders withdrawing their investments and stock prices plummeting, the corporation was soon declared bankrupt. _Too bad soon wasn't soon enough…_

Umbrella had done their damage, and by the time the company had finally disbanded hundreds of thousands had been ruthlessly slaughtered by a company that lived and worked in the shadows, killing from the dark. But some good had come of it…

Chris was now second-in-command to Barry, who captained a special branch of SWAT that specialised in stealth operations, called into situations where the army or civilian equivalent were simply too conspicuous. Each one of the ex-STARS team members were given a post, as well as places issued to those select few who had helped along the way. _My little sis Claire, my brother-in-law to be Leon, Sherry, training as a recruit, Billy, Becky's other half…_

Names. Names of people who were all family to him, people he had come to rely upon, to trust with his life and so much more. Then there was _him…_

Everyone who new Chris knew who _him _was. _Or as I sometimes call him that piece of shit over there…_

Carlos.

Carlos was one member of the team that was not a welcome recruit. In Chris' eyes he was a cocky big head, an arrogant kid, with too much spewing from his mouth that didn't mean shit. A waste of space that could be filled by someone more than worthless. _I don't care if he saved her life; he'll never deserve her…_

Chris' heart skipped a beat at the mere thought of Jill, bullet once again missing its target as his mind wondered to other things. After Racoon, and the collapse of Umbrella, Carlos had been assigned the position of heavy weapons specialist on the new SWAT team, under the direct command of Chris himself, put there by the recommendations of the very same women in question, having praised Carlos highly for his skill and composure in Racoon City.

_That very same 'skill and composure' your pissed at him having, right Redfield?_

The truth was that Chris resented Carlos being there for Jill when he wasn't; helping her along the way, providing covering fire, watching her back, lending her ammo, _innocently brushing something out of her hair just to touch her, happening to look up when she was climbing a ladder, huddling up…_

A sound tore Chris away form his musings, turning around so that the bullet he fired veered off at an angle, this time missing the target completely, embedding itself within the brick wall and causing some of the plaster to crumble to the floor.

"Doesn't look like you're such a hot shot bro, you're losing your touch." Said Claire simply from the doorway, stretching a little higher so she could get a good look at the target in question.

A smile graced Chris' lips as he looked at his sister, her familiar appearance reminding him of the happy times he'd had before Umbrella had infected their world. Appearance wise she hadn't changed; chestnut hair still pulled into its trademark ponytail, grey eyes still wide and innocent, still clothed in that cut-off pink shirt with the words 'let me live' emblazoned on the back. In that aspect she was still the same as she was two years ago, but Chris knew her better than that. He knew that deep down his kid sister had been deeply affected by the disturbing events that had unfolded in Racoon City, emotionally scarred by everything that had happened to her in that short space of time.

To be honest, who isn't scarred? 

A glint caught his eye in the artificial light, instantly drawing his eyes to the source.

_Well, if she is scarred at least something good came out of it._

Claire insisted that meeting Leon was the best thing that ever could've happened to her, and although Chris was a little 'pissed' at the rookie cop for dating, and later proposing to his sister, he eventually saw how happy Leon made Claire and accepted their relationship. If rather grudgingly.

"Chris," Claire stated, snapping her finger to draw back him back to reality.

"I'm ashamed at you. No snappy retort? No quick joke or insult? God you really must be losing your touch…"

Folding her arms across her chest, Claire raised her eyebrows expectantly, patiently waiting for a suitable witty response that would spark another infamous 'Redfield Debate.' Far form wanting to start one of their bickering sessions, Chris chose to answer her statement seriously, discarding his earmuffs as he set his gun down on the table.

"Well little sis, I guess I really am losing my touch,"

Claire laughed at his response, unfolding her arms and walking a few paces towards him, casually leaning against the protective glass that separated the firing range form the viewing gallery. She shook her head slightly as she looked at him, smile never disappearing form her lips.

"Anyway, I didn't come here to _just _insult you,"

_That'll be a first…_

"Ol' Captain Barry wants you in the briefing room ASAP. He needs to see all of us."

Claire paused slightly, a slight cough escaping her throat as if unsure how to word what she was going to say. Chris didn't like the look on her face, the childish smirk long gone.

_Can't be that bad surely? If its all of then its gotta be a new mission, maybe a hostage situation. But if that was all she wouldn't have that fucking look on her face cause we've done that type of shit before, no problem. It's probably…_

"Jill gone. She's not at home and half of her equipment's been cleared from the locker room."

Chris's guts suddenly felt like lead weights, a knot rising to the back of his throat as he visibly swallowed, the words not completely registering, his legs visibly weakening as he tried to hold himself up.

_Jill gone. How can she just fucking go…? How can a person just evade all detection and leave…?_

Chris felt stupid even a second after thinking it, almost hitting himself at the idiocy of his thoughts, reminding himself of who he was talking about. _This is Jill. You remember now, the ex-thief Jill? The master of unlocking, the one-person you could never hear creeping up on you. She used to live in the shadows. Of course she could escape un-detected, you dumb bastard…_

"Her eagle was also taken form the armoury," Claire continued, avoiding Chris' eyes.

"So we can pretty much guess where she's gone…"

Chris absently nodded, instinctively knowing where Claire was talking about. _I will fucking kill that piece of shit if her touches her, if he even lays one finger on her he dies. End of story. And as for her, what the fuck is she doing, she knows how dangerous he is… _

Chris knew too, and for all of his apparently selfless concern at Jill's well being, his motives weren't entirely selfless. He was concerned as much with his own life.

_Baby, please, just come back to me. If you die I'll physically have to lie down on your grave and die with you. It's that bad…_

And the worst part was that Chris knew he wasn't joking…

-Dd-

Chapter notes: Ok, I'm working on the length, as that was longer that the prologue, and hopefully the next one will be even longer if I' feeling up to it. Sorry if its also a bit 'crud' at this stage but once all the setting up's done then the story will get better. Promise. Please keep reviewing, Thanx again, and see you in chapter three…


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